PHLOX-BUTTERFLY AUDIT

PHLOX-BUTTERFLY AUDIT

A kaleidoscope of butterflies

To my haphazard garden flock over

A sight for sore eyes

As they pause and hover

Above the tiny, colourful phlox

Of varied and variegated hues

Among the forget-me-nots, roses, goldilocks

Yellows, reds, a couple of blues

They gaze at the phlox

Placidly, the phlox gaze back 

Matching colour for colour, gaze for gaze

I decide to test my counting knack

And compare the rival scores

Butterflies, on my fingers, I count seven

Phlox too, likewise, ticked off on my toes

Odd numbers, both, the scores are even

Matter over, the butterflies rise

Flapping their wings and flock away

The phlox remain, grounded and wise

And, in the breeze, gently sway

Here, counting and tallying done

There, pollen dusted

The mental exercise was fun

My numeracy skills haven't rusted

~ SK, financial year ending, 2023-24

A MATTER OF TIME (Gastro Entry Logic)

A MATTER OF TIME

"Tell the time, no?"

"Why you are asking time time time time so many times? Keep your own wrist-watch on your own hand so that you can see your own time at any time."

"I have given my wrist-watch to my cousin brother to wear for exam. And doctor has given some important medicine which I must and should swallow at correct time. So only I am asking you to tell the time."

"Okay okay okay. Because you are telling doctor and medicine I am co-operating. To-day I will tell you the time but tomorrow you must wear wrist-watch."

"Thank you for your generosity."

"But why you are going to doctor for medicine and all?"

"Health problem. I am getting stomach pain. If I eat also and if I don't eat also. Doctor is telling it is due to gastric effect. He is stomach pain specialist."

"He may be ENT."

"Not ENT. That is for face and all. This is for stomach and it is called gastric entry logic something. He is famous doctor. Simply he is pressing stomach and asking two questions and with that answer he is giving some pills and it is curing the pain."

"What he is asking?"

"He is asking what special I am eating yesterday and when I am eating it. I told him I am eating only four Mysore Pak in the afternoon time. Office Ayudha Pooja sweet."

"The sweet fellow might have used unpure oil."

"No no no. I have seen the Mysore Pak preparation with my own eyes. It is pure ghee only. And I am eating only four."

"At a time?"

"No. One after another."

"Oh. Then your stomach may be weak. Be careful. Next is coming Deepavali. Better don't eat Mysore Pak. Eat some other sweet. Meet the doctor before only and take advance medicine."

"Yes. Thanks for advice. I will follow this."

"And give me also the doctor address. Let it be with me for emergency."

- © Shiva Kumar, 26 Oct 2020

CAPTAIN KIRK GETS BACK TO EARTH

CAPTAIN KIRK GETS BACK TO EARTH

As the space capsule passes over Delhi, India, a Hindi speaking Indian-origin member of the staff at the Earth Mission Control takes the com. 

Captain Kirk had learnt a smattering of Hindi for one of the Star Trek episodes that could not get made on account of budget issues. He had, in fact, planned a short dialogue in Hindi with Spock but Spock spoke no Hindi. Kirk loved watching Hindi films and listening to old Hindi film songs. Now, Mission Control thought they'd give him a surprise by speaking to him in Hindi.

 

Mission Control: Earth to Capt. Kirk. Namaste, Kirkji! Kya khabar, sab theek thaak hai? 

Capt. Kirk: Kirk to Earth. Ohohohoho! Namaas Tay! Sab tick tock, dhanbad! Everything's going like clockwork!

E: Dhandad nahi, dhanyavaad! Thank you. Achcha, bolo, upar se aapko Bharat kaisa dikhta hai?

Captain Kirk: Window say dekka. Kooch nahi deekta hay. Sab dua hee dua hay. Too much smoke hay.

E: Woh dhuan nahin, baadal hay, I mean, hai. Yahan baarish ka mausam hai. South West, North East, aisa kuch kuch hota hai. Yahan sab gharon mein subah subah chai ka paani ubaal rahe hain. Uske wajah se bhi ho sakta hai. Ya koi savere ka dhundh hoga.

K (breaking into old Hindi song): Doond? Sansar ki har shay ka itna hee fasaana hay, ek doond se aana hay, ek doond mein jaana hay. Larala lalala lala, lara lala lara lala, hmhmhmhmhmhmhm!

E (as the capsule begins to move out of range of India): Achcha, theek hai, theek hai, ab Angrezi mein bolo, Hindi bandh karo, whole Earth ke log sun rahe hain. Hindi mein bologe toh sabko iska arth maloom nahin hoga.

CK: Theek hai, arth samajh gaya. OK, Earth, understood. 

E: (switching over to official sounding voice): Earth to Kirk. Well done, Captain. We are proud of you.

K: Still learning, Earth. These Hindi songs are like vitamins.

E: I meant your space trip, not your Hindi songs. And that reminds me. Have you taken your 90+ vitamin capsule?

K: Yes, I have, Earth. With 90 ml of pure water. You know, I felt like singing “Koi cheese milane ko jee chahata hay”. The capsule is still floating around in my stomach. I have a gut feeling that it will take a while to dissolve.

E: Understood. You may now initiate capsule descent procedure. The space capsule, not the vitamin capsule.

K: Copy that. Thanks for clarifying. Initiating space capsule descent procedure. Happy I was able to "boldly go where no 90-year old man has gone before". Signing off now. In other words, Kirk out, but coming back in. "May aa raha hooooooo!"

~ © Shiva Kumar

17 Oct 2021

 

--

 

 

TO MARKET, TO MARKET, IN A TONGGA

TO MARKET, TO MARKET, IN A TONGGA

To market, to market in an ass-drawn cart

An ass-drawn cart called tongga

I chose an ass to draw the cart

Though a horse might’ve been strongga

I was in a hurry, so I took the short route

The long route would’ve been longga

But the route I took was the route to Beirut

It turned out I was terribly wrongga!

I lost my way ‘cause I’d strayed a bit

I should’ve taken the road to Chittagongga

I thought to myself, this tongga isn’t fit

I should’ve travelled instead in a Jongga

I was turning around when I encountered

The tennis ace Miss Goolagongga

Twittering and hopping about like a bird

Wrapped in a colourful sarongga

I called out to her, craning my neck

“Hey Miss Goolagongga, where you goingga?”

She said “I lost my way returning from a trek

To the summit of Mount Kangchendzöngga

I hafta get back Down Under to Ozzie land

And back to the town of Wollongongga

Where I practice my top-spinning backhand

Hafta be home before the dinner gongga!”

I pointed South East and told her she hasta hurry

“Thataway, there, Missy, is where you belongga

Go quick, don’t tarry, but go without a worry”

She went, spring in step, bravely singin’ a songga!

© Shiva Kumar - 2019

Songs of 1969-70

When I woke up this morning, Kishore Kumar's "Jee bhar ke dekhloon main tumhe, zulfe idhar karlo" (Deedaar, 1970, Varma Malik / Usha Khanna) was buzzing around in my head, right up to "Surkhi tere ruksaar pe, badlegi rang bahar ke" after which it dried up, without giving reasons for coming or going.

It is an easy paced and smoothly flowing melody and had been a favourite during the season the film was released and on and off (does "on" and "off" remind you of villain Ajit's signal?) and after that too, right up to the present.

Surprisingly, it did not come to mind last week, when the maverick genius, the 'harfanmaula', had his birthday and everyone was playing their favourite songs of his. Perhaps it was reminding me of my lapse to-day and was chiding me by going away after the first line of the first antara. Remiss of me.

So, after glancing through my first newspaper and savouring my second tumbler of strong filter coffee, sakkaré kadimé, I made amends for my forgetfulness by going to Youtube and pulling up this. And it took me right back to those summer holidays of 1969-70!

I suppose I will end up playing songs of those days to-day - songs like "O meri praan sajni", "Priye Praaneswari", "Rut hai milan ki", "Koi maane ya na maane", "Aaj ko junli raat ma". Who knows, when you play one, it will pry out some little tidbit embedded within the folds of yoir memory and lead you to another! That is what these songs do, don't they?

~ © Shiva Kumar, 08 Aug 2021

https://youtu.be/4osc1SXn4zI

NO SHADOW DAY

24 April 2021

It is No Shadow Day again. 

Go out on the stroke of noon or thereabouts and look for your shadow. You don't see it? What did I tell you?

Just like it did last year, it rained heavily last night. And the weather is not exactly balmy. It is bright and sunny - perfect weather to be out and about.

But it is also Weekend Lockdown Day. So I can't be out and about. Not to worry. I have been gifted books that I have yet to read, by a good and caring friend. The tree to curl up under that wasn't there earlier still isn't there, but the old sofa is there as solid as ever, and I have all day. So you know what I'll be doing.

What will you be doing to-day? Apart from looking for your shadow, that is.

***

24 April 2020

NO SHADOW DAY 2020

"The dry spell continues. At least in these parts where I dwell. ...

..... (some 200 words in between) .....

So, all in all, drought conditions prevail. The dry spell continues."

Yesterday, I had reprised a four-year old memory of the dry spell continuing and drought conditions prevailing and all that sort of thing.

The weather gods, not too happy with my reprising and posting four-year old memories that have no relevance for them when they had been having different plans altogether, decided on a swift reprisal.

 

Late in the night, the skies opened up. It poured, and poured like the dickens, and did not let up till the sun came up. And when the sun finally came up, it did not show its face but hovered behind a cover of clouds. We were treated to a diffused spread till well past breakfast time.

Balmy weather prevails now. The kind of weather when you look for a tree under which to curl up with a book. I don't have a tree to curl up under nearby, but I have a book, and I have a sofa.

A well-meaning friend informed, through a kind forward that some well-meaning friend of his must have forwarded to him, that to-day is No Shadow Day and, at a particular time of the day when the sun will be at its zenith, there will be no shadows. He did not mention where all the shadows will go but that is not important now. The sun is at its zenith and I am going to go out up to my gate and look for that shadow that isn't there and, after making sure it really isn't there, I am going to come back in and curl up with a book.

See you in some time. It sure feels funny without a shadow!

- © Shiva Kumar

Veppampoo Pachadi

VEPPAMPOO PACHADI

Separating the tiny flowers from a bunch of leaves of the Neem tree is an arduous task. You have to take care to remove only the flowers, without pulling out the slender stalks too. If these stalks find their way along with the flowers into the 'pachadi' or 'rasam' that the flowers are used in preparing, their bitter taste can seep into the dish and make it less palatable.

 

A half of the harvest you see in the picture was used to prepare a 'pachadi' consisting of these flowers, known as 'veppampoo', jaggery and tamarind as the main ingredients. A thin solution of jaggery and tamarind pulp is boiled till it just starts to thicken and then it is tempered with dried red chillies and mustard seeds sputtered in heated oil with the neem flowers being dropped into it finally, just after the tempering oil is removed from the flame and begins to cool, singeing but not burning them.

(The remaining half of the neem flowers are kept in cold storage and will be used to season a rasam that takes its name from them - 'veppampoo rasam'.)

It took me the better part of an hour to harvest a tiny fistful of flowers. So it's not surprising that we do it only once a year. 

This year I had sort of insisted in my mind that I would engage in this flower picking activity only if the New Year's Day fell on a Sunday and, as if bowing to my wishes, the Panchangam duly obliged.

-  © Shiva Kumar, 14 April 2019