For the kind information of all Bengalureans

FOR THE KIND INFORMATION OF ALL BENGALUREANS

1.    Power supply is likely to be interrupted on account of maintenance works being carried out on the supply lines somewhere or the other. Our maintenance department is in the dark on account of no prior knowledge. Hence please kindly understand and adjust and be in the dark for a brief period.

2.    Water supply is also likely to be interrupted on account of maintenance works being carried out on the river. The river has been diverted to flow up instead of down for the duration of the maintenance works. Hence please understand, adjust and be without water for a little time only till the river is refilled.

3.    There will be copious amount of rainfall all over the city. This has been specially requested and arranged for our citizens by us as a token of our commitment to providing uninterrupted supply of something at least. However, please note that the falling rain is not under our control and, as such, we are not responsible for any sudden change in the intensity from drizzle to torrential or from torrential to trace.

4.    Collection and disposal of garbage is likely to be affected on account of trashing of all earlier resolutions made by us and snail-like progress of ongoing talks with the kind people of the neighbouring villages who are reluctant to allow their villages to be used as dumping grounds. Our negotiating department which is clueless so far is hard at work trying to figure out what to do and will revert very soon with ideas. Until then, we request you to keep your garbage to yourself, bear the stench and bear with us.

For any garbage-related help, please contact your nearest help-scenter.

5.    Mobile telephone and internet services may be affected on account of no power supply.

6.    Landline telephone services are already affected on some account or the other so we are not announcing it again.

7.    Potholes may re-appear on the roads. Please watch out. We are neither responsible for their appearance nor their re-appearance.

If you find any pothole stretch of more than a kilometre without any road in it, please report to the nearest help-hole.

8.    Mosquitoes have been instructed not to appear in any populated areas but to buzz off. Any mosquito found violating this order will be caught and have its wings chopped off by our Wing Chopping Wing. Meanwhile, we are working on a plan to re-locate all mosquitoes to a special zone created exclusively for them and talks are on in this regard.

However, if you do notice any pesky pest creating nuisance, please mark the spot, identify the culprit and report to your nearest pest help centre.

9.     All other services will function normally.

Your nearest friendly neighbourhood help centre and our help lines have been set up specially for your assistance. However, we do have to warn you that, due to reasons beyond our control, you may find the help centres closed and the help lines not reachable, in which case please bear with us.

We wish you a Happy Deepavali!